Snarky Embroidery

If you are like me, you do a search for "mean cross stitch" or "foul language embroidery" when you want a quick giggle. Warning, most of what you find won't be safe for work, or children, or sensitive souls. I am not a child, nor sensitive, though I can be childish at times.

A friend of mine recently turned 49 and isn't exactly excited about the prospect. When I tried to wish her a happy birthday, she said "meh" with a shrug. I said "all your dreams are dead" and she cackled. I felt compelled to mark the occasion appropriately by creating something no one else would ever give to her.

I started with these awesome letters from Urban Threads Embroidery called Inked Alphabet. They have so many awesome designs and I love when I can make one of them really shine. I pulled the letters to join with a font within my embroidery design software. I thought this was a good match. I picked really subdued colors for this. I want the work to draw the eye, not the colors. I set the machine to stitching and worked on other things while it churned away embroidering mean words and breaking the thread.

Once it was stitched out, I drew some lines as guides and got quilting. The spiderweb-like effect wasn't really planned. I did want rays shooting out from the D in dreams and I managed that. Overall I'm pleased with the quilting. The quilting was hand guided on my long arm quilting machine frame. The finished size is 10" high by 12" wide.

Not everyone will really get my dark humor; I get that. Someday, you will look back on your life, and I truly hope you look back on the many wonderful things you've done. When I turn 50 I'm going to accept that all my dreams are dead.